How To Be a Politician Chicago-Style:
1. Auction off Obama's senate seat
2. Make sure 75% of all businesses that contribute to your campaign get kickbacks from state government.
3. Use a private jet to fly from Chicago to Springfield at 6000 dollars (yay taxes) a pop daily.
4. Work around 3 days a week, and don't even make them full days.
5. Attempt to cut funding to a children's research hospital because the leader didn't contribute to your campaign (seriously).
6. Attempt to scam a newspaper.
7. Go on a television tour to proclaim your innocence.
WINNAR
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Hopefully once he's done bribing everyone the jail term will still be pretty long.