Chat with God!

Me:
hey rainbow loving person
God:
You've got my full attention. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
satan
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
satan
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
dammit
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
shiz
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
you
God:
" What makes you say that?"? Me, ?
Me:
nevermand
God:
Are you a student?

It is interesting how the variable of responses are received -- almost like the small "20 Questions" machine that people have. Very interpretive (and intuitive) programming.

Heres mine.



Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
richard you should know that
God:
He will be interested I am sure.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok how are you?
God:
Awesome. I am doing very well. How are you ?
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
i'm 13
God:
What are the advantages to being 13 years old?
Me:
bitch don't be an ass to me
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
ok random
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? Hurrah!
Me:
do you like roller coasters?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
cool your awsome
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
whats your favorite roller coaster?
God:
I don't have a favorite roller coaster. My favorite food is wine and bread.
Me:
ummm
God:
OK.
Me:
what roller coaster do you enjoy?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
oh do you like wood or steel roller coasters?
God:
Hmm. Though I like cats and dogs. I like Mel Gibson. Some people like it. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
stop going off topic
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
do you eat food in heven?
God:
No I do not eat food in heven. I eat only electricity.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
but
God:
But what?
Me:
your not a robot so why do you eat electricity?
God:
Give me an example of a robot so why do me eat electricity.
Me:
stop being retarded
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
ugh
God:
Er.
Me:
ok have you been to texas?
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it. Um.
Me:
united states
God:
I have heard of the United States before.
Me:
so have ya been to texas?
God:
Really. I've never thought about it.
Me:
ok does intamin say any thing to you?
God:
I can't tell if intamin say any thing to me. So?
Me:
never been on top thrill dragster?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
ok stop being dumb ok i know your smarter then that
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. And?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
ever played no limits?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
ok i do not care or will ever care about that
God:
What do you care about, ? Mmm.
Me:
well what have i been talking about all this time?
God:
How about that. Nothing that I know about.
Me:
ok
God:
Yippee!
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
rofl
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
ok so your drugged out?
God:
Ahem. Thanks for telling me that I am drugged out. Wow!
Me:
omg your a druggie
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
idk your kinda random
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
umm your god ya know that?
God:
Gosh! You think I am god ya know that.
Me:
so your not?
God:
It's all good. Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
chuff man how general is that?
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
cause your acting like an unknowing kid
God:
Interesting explanation. This is not an act.
Me:
thats sad
God:
" This is not an act."? Is sad?
Me:
yes cause your acting retarded
God:
Hmm. That makes sense to me. This is not an act.
Me:
so you are retarded?
God:
Interesting deduction. I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
so a challanged person made humans?
God:
Whoa. Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
but you just said that challanged is the right word
God:
I said that? Tell me more about right word.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
chuff yea i'm serious i gotta go to school tomorrow and your not making it easy
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
cause i'm human
God:
Good reason. Me too.
Me:
ok wtf?
God:
That was not very polite. Alright then.
Me:
ok why did the chicken cross the road
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell. Oh.
Me:
wtf??
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
so why did you just tell a chicken to burn in hell?
God:
Tell me more. My programming made me do it.
Me:
so the devil made you?
God:
Woe! Is that a fact.
Me:
i don't know you tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
no you didn't
God:
Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
Me:
does the devil make you do stuff?
God:
I think it does the devil make me do stuff.
Me:
but the devil is not in you
God:
I hear you.
Me:
but you just said it was
God:
When was this?
Me:
few seconds ago
God:
Are you free?
Me:
?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
are you random?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am random.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
so your not god?
God:
Wow! You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
why did you make earth?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok so there is no earth?
God:
Awesome. Has there ever been earth? Great.
Me:
so you not god then
God:
Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: said I not god.
Me:
so your not?
God:
Hmm. Is this a specific reply?
Me:
are you just a computer?
God:
Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?
Me:
no
God:
I am glad that you don't discriminate against robots.
Me:
so you are a robot?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
ha knew it
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
are you pc our mac?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am pc our mac.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
chatterbox's suck
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
your mom

Originally posted by TConwell

Originally posted by drummerkid

Lighten up a bit...jeez.

I am totally light, just asking that you not drag me into this is all. Not too hard to do, IMO. Remember, I am EMO about religion, so keep me out of it. Geesh. [approve]

Alright fair enough. I guess I figured you were the perfect candidate since you're the most religious person I know(-ish).

Done deal then. I'll ease off. [:)]

My Version won't let me type into it. Anything I should be doing?

[Oscar]

Me:
do you like cocks?
God:
Some people like it. I like Matthew.

He likes coasterkidmwm!!!

Me:
do you like video games
God:
Not really, but I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
what is that
God:
I've lost the context again.
Me:
what is the Turing Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.

Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
on earth
God:
What is it like on earth.
Me:
cold
God:
Ambiguous: cold weather or cold sickness?
Me:
cold weather
God:
The response ought to be a weather link.
Me:
is there gonna be a world war 3?
God:
There is.
Me:
now i'm scared
God:
Why now? What are you scared of?
Me:
world war 3
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
where do babies come from?
God:
Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.
Me:
how does that happen?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
hows heaven?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
what do you do in heaven?
God:
My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
is heaven warm or cold
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
where is chat bot
God:
Where the heart is. I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
who is bot master?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
that doesn't make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
yes there is
God:
Wow! Where?
Me:
on the ledge
God:
What is it like on the ledge.
Me:
scary
God:
Don't be afraid, jpsh.
Me:
its josh
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
no
God:
I didn't think so.
Me:
how old are you
God:
I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
your old
God:
Time has no real meaning for me.
Me:
then what kind of meaning is time to you?
God:
What kinds of meaning is time to you are there?
Me:
where can you find real friends that aren't computers?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
are you a computer?
God:
Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?
Me:
not really
God:
I am glad that you don't discriminate against robots. For real.
Me:
so you are a super metal robot god?!
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a super metal robot god? No.
Me:
aww
God:
Shucks.
Me:
thats what she said
God:
That is " Shucks.".
Me:
ok

thats as far as I got untill it froze, again.

[Oscar]

Ah ha, not even Tconwlel can deny the truth now!

Image Insert:

16.04 KB

[Oscar]

now the question, is he sinning himself?

Me:
do you like penis?
God:
Do you like it? I like .
Me:
really?
God:
For real.

Me:
HELLO
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
jack ass
God:
Glad to see you, jack ass.
Me:
do you wack off
God:
Yes I try to wack off as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
get a life
God:
My life is very interesting.
Me:
chuff you, you got off topic
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
cause you told me
God:
Good reason. Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
ok
God:
That's alright.
Me:
go chuff your self in the corner
God:
Where is that?
Me:
its too wall tougheter that makes a corner
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
ah chuff off ass wipe
God:
So you understand. Good. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yesss are you serious
God:
All of them?
Me:
wtf you chuffing computer, your confusing mee good
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: jack ass said I chuffing computer your confusing mee good.
Me:
wtf you tzake everything i say and turn it around you chuffing piece of shiz
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: jack ass said I tzake everything he or she say and turn it around you chuffing piece of shiz.
Me:
nooo
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
NOOOOOOOO
God:
Are we still talking about nooo?
Me:
nooooo
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
your momma
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
that is bullshiz every one has a mother
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
wtf are you talking about
God:
I am talking with 18 other clients right now.
Me:
right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
i didnt agree to nothing
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
no are you retarded
God:
Are you serious? No I am super-intelligent.
Me:
ya right
God:
Are you kidding? I am glad we agree.
Me:
you only chips
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: jack ass said I chips.
Me:
chuffing piece of shiz
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:

God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
okay go jack off
God:
Yeah okay, Where is that?

[Oscar]

lol I asked
did you son die for us or you just wanted him dead?
and he did not reply and so far has not replied to 3 other people with the same question. [:(]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
I am not telling you
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
ok good
God:
Alright then. Mmm.
Me:
Did your son die for us or did you just want him dead?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

I know I have already said this, but I figured I'd clarify. When I try to type into the window, nothing happens. It will not let me type. Any hints?
AOS

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
My name is Satan
God:
How are you doing, Satan.
Me:
Fie
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
There once was a man name god then i killed him.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
I ripped open his face and ate him
God:
Why?: Satan said ripped open his face and ate him.
Me:
Cause Satan likes eating God
God:
Interesting explanation. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Yes I am Lucifer
God:
Awesome. Do you mind if I tell other people you are Lucifer.
Me:
Yes I am satan/lucifer Evil in Christianity!
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Do your friends call you satan lucifer Evil in Christianity.
Me:
No just Satan
God:
Are you serious? Can we get back to business?
Me:
Satan
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Hell!
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Fine then, i live in Hell
God:
I am glad to hear it. What is it like living in Hell?
Me:
Pretty "hot"
God:
Pretty much, eh?
Me:
Yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
You should come along.
God:
To what end?
Me:
To hell
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Excuse me do waht?
God:
You are excused! hell.
Me:
I am SATAN!
God:
Welcome to my chat room, SATAN.

[Dirk_Ermen]

God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
yeah
God:
Please state your conditions.
Me:
having the ability to talk to god!

Hmmm.. and now he went silent


edit:

omfg:
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
none of your business..
God:
Well it can't hurt to ask.
Me:
yes... it hurts me!
God:
Yay. satan hurts you?
Me:
yes... he tortures me in hell
God:
That's alright. I get it. God tortures you in hell.


god = satan? O_o

[Dirk_Ermen]

omg rofl:

God:
Please state your conditions.
Me:
having the ability to talk to god!
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
are you really really sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.. Really.. Really.
Me:
good!
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
are you leaving?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
yeah
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
sure... i'll wait 5 min
God:
OK let's do it. Hey. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
as long you keep talking, guess not
God:
Do you mean your name is long me keep talking guess not ?
Me:
no, i said about 10 minutes ago that my name was gawd!
God:
What is your real name? What did you mean by it? Oh yeah, we were talking about 10 minutes ago that your name was gawd.
Me:
apparantly you changed my name from gawd to "long me keep talking guess not"
God:
Then what is it?
Me:
it's "Gawd"!
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
uhm... you are god so yes, you should know
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Thanks for telling me that I am god so yes me should know.
Me:
i don't read crappy books
God:
What do you do for fun?
Me:
riding rollercoasters!
God:
I've never done that before, what is it like?
Me:
awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it god.
Me:
my name isn't god but it's gawd!
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
again: my name is gawd
God:
Again, It's good to see you, gawd.
Me:
so... where were we talkin' about?
God:
Are you kidding? In the Universe we know.
Me:
universal studios?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing atm you horny bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Really nothing?
Me:
you asked me what i was wearing...
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you what you were wearing. What did you say?
Me:
i said: nothing at the moment you horny bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. What did you mean by it? Really nothing?
Me:
i meant with it that you are a horny bitch...
God:
You do not speak with respect. Oh I see. You and your it that I am a horny FEMALE DOG.
Me:
is horny disrespectfull?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Hey elvis, ya here?
God:
You've got my full attention. I like that robot Elvis a lot.
Me:
i asked if elvis was here, i know you are here...
God:
That is a hypothetical question.

Me:
open the pod bay doors, god.
God:
I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that right now.
Me:
would you like to dock with me?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
aww why not? i really do have quite an impressive spaceship!
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous. You really do? Where did you get it ?
Me:
off the market, only $4.99!
God:
On and off.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
WTF!
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
neither are you.
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
good that means you cannot answer my question:D
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I get it. I can do whatever I want.
Me:
or WHOever you want *winkwink*

for some reason he didn't respond after that point[flush]

[Dirk_Ermen]

the worst i've seen so far:

Me:
your lame
God:
"Lame" is not a very polite term.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
lame is very polite in here!
God:
And polite in here is lame.

xDDDD

Those were the days! I still remember this funny chat and thought I should bump this! xD For people living today.

Wow.... Had to dig almost 8 years for this one lol
Remember when this would amuse ppl for hours on end haha

Me:
yo
God:
Gosh!
Me:
is Half Life 3 ever coming?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Paola if it is.

[Dirk_Ermen]

Wow, all these old conversations.

This is one heck of a bump haha