Goof Tatsu Article

wow, the guys at westcoasters made this funny spoof of the relase of Tatsu. I think its funny:

November 16 ?????? In a cloud of mystery and lung choking toxic substances, Six Flags Magic Mountain has kept its newest roller coaster a secret from the prying eyes of the coaster enthusiast community. ??????Keeping this thing a secret has been exceedingly hard!?????? noted Jim Jay Babaganoosh, the park??????s head PR representative. ??????But we found that if we pumped in smells of stale corndogs and nacho cheese, it kept them distracted long enough to move parts around. We even once left a copy of the blueprints on a table next to a buffet, but since they were all so into the food that nobody found out!??????

The coaster, ??????Tatsu: Okay, we know it??????s a gay name??????, is the newest, biggest, bestest, badest, smelliest and was recently voted ??????Most Likely To Give You Explosive Gas?????? by its peers. Built by Bolliger and Mallard of Austria, the ride will send riders flying?????? literally. The restraints are limited to duct tape and chewing gum, making the ride experience a true ??????survival of the fittest??????. Sending those daring enough to tempt fate through 5,469 feet of track?????? through like a bajillion loops and underwater twice. ??????Ve vanted to make zee loops wit zee beeg mancake neeples?????? said an obviously drunk Olaf Mallard. It has since been figured out that he intended to say that they intentionally designed the loops to give you nipple erections that would last a week. One side effect of this ride however, will be the inability to get an erection for 3 months after riding. A condition the park is confident will not produce many complaints due to the widely-known fact that most Coaster Enthusiasts don't get laid much, if at all.

??????It??????s my new number one coaster?????? announced self-described coaster expert and belly button lint enthusiast Paul Ruben. Mr. Ruben was also seen earlier fellating Del Holland in the hopes of being invited to the media event for the coaster??????s opening some time after the 2006 season. ??????I can??????t wait for the chance to push my way into the unfinished station in the hopes of riding before anyone else!?????? the pudgy ??????expert?????? was heard saying just before shoving a massive bratwurst into his mouth while winking at a little boy.

Response from other enthusiasts was just as interesting. ??????I??????m sure the ride will be great, but this is just another plan for a ride stolen from me?????? noted Tony Baloney who has claimed for years to have designed Superman: The Escape. ??????I clearly sent a detailed plan on a napkin to my friend Bubba Kakapoopoo in Germany who I met on an old BBS system in the early 90??????s. He then showed it to his mom who was like ??????WOA!!!?????? and then B&M sent me a letter telling me that I had a little penis. The nerve!?????? Mr. Baloney then walked away grumbling.

The park hopes to open the ride sometime between January 1 st and December 31 st in 2006. They??????re also hoping to get Brooke Shields to host the opening ceremonies but are unsure how she??????ll do as she is currently pregnant with her second child and will most likely be insanely depressed and suicidal by the time the ride opens. It??????s our suggestion that someone tell her some ??????knock, knock?????? jokes to make her feel better.

??????Ve vanted to make zee loops wit zee beeg mancake neeples??????
LMAO

I think its retarded but hey.

Although you are only joking you should really be carefull what you
say.

else!????????? the pudgy ?????????expert????????? was heard saying just before shoving a massive bratwurst into his mouth while winking at a little boy.

Watch your back man Mr Ruben is coming to get you.

i jst posted it, didnt write it or anything, and i liked watching my movie that had Paul Ruben in it, i dont have anything against him, i just thought the article had some funny things in it. Owell

quote:
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November 16 ????????? In a cloud of mystery and lung choking toxic substances, Six Flags Magic Mountain has kept its newest roller coaster a secret from the prying eyes of the coaster enthusiast community. ?????????Keeping this thing a secret has been exceedingly hard!????????? noted Jim Jay Babaganoosh, the park?????????s head PR representative. ?????????But we found that if we pumped in smells of stale corndogs and nacho cheese, it kept them distracted long enough to move parts around. We even once left a copy of the blueprints on a table next to a buffet, but since they were all so into the food that nobody found out!?????????

The coaster, ?????????Tatsu: Okay, we know it's a gay name?????????, is the newest, biggest, bestest, badest, smelliest and was recently voted ?????????Most Likely To Give You Explosive Gas????????? by its peers. Built by Bolliger and Mallard of Austria, the ride will send riders flying????????? literally. The restraints are limited to duct tape and chewing gum, making the ride experience a true ?????????survival of the fittest?????????. Sending those daring enough to tempt fate through 5,469 feet of track????????? through like a bajillion loops and underwater twice. ?????????Ve vanted to make zee loops wit zee beeg mancake neeples????????? said an obviously drunk Olaf Mallard. It has since been figured out that he intended to say that they intentionally designed the loops to give you nipple erections that would last a week. One side effect of this ride however, will be the inability to get an erection for 3 months after riding. A condition the park is confident will not produce many complaints due to the widely-known fact that most Coaster Enthusiasts don't get laid much, if at all.

[coolbeans326]

?????????It's my new number one coaster????????? announced self-described coaster expert and belly button lint enthusiast Paul Ruben. Mr. Ruben was also seen earlier fellating Del Holland in the hopes of being invited to the media event for the coaster?????????s opening some time after the 2006 season. ?????????I can't wait for the chance to push my way into the unfinished station in the hopes of riding before anyone else!????????? the pudgy ?????????expert????????? was heard saying just before shoving a massive bratwurst into his mouth while winking at a little boy.

That was my favorite paragraph. It wouldn't surprise me if he was a pediphile, just the way he was on S:ROS DL for Travel Channel just gives me the chills every time I see it![lol]

[Coasterkidmwm]

Originally posted by Eric12

quote:inability to get an erection for 3 months after riding.

NOT THAT!!! [confused] [V] [:(]

Bolliger and Mallard of Austria

They spelled that name wrong AND isn't Bolliger and Mabillard in Switzerland

[coolbeans326]

^ Geez, your such a freaking idiot, gosh!
But seriously, its suppose to be that way.

[Coasterkidmwm]

Originally posted by spaminacan11

They spelled that name wrong AND isn't Bolliger and Mabillard in Switzerland

Failure of the day award goes to Spaminacan.

Thank you, thank you. I am proud of my blondeness.

It was a very funny article though. And now that I read it through a few times and thought about it for a while, I actually understood that it was a joke...haha