hurricane!!!!!!

A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on
the Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in Basildon.

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately ?????????30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del
Sol were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were
woken well before their giros arrived. Essex FM reported that hundreds of
residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to
terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was
such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept
through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still
searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal
items of Elizabeth Duke jewellery from Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after - items most needed include:

Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or
Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
?????????2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
?????????5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?






only people from the uk will understand this i think, made me chuckle

[hyyyper]

i do understand it, but it's british humor, so i don't think it's all that funny, if were a sketch on tv or radio, it might have been better

[lol][lol]

that made my evening!

i agree with hyyyper

it would have been hysterical if on the radio with people with funny british accents!

It's a clever joke for sure, definitely a Brit joke though. It's one of those jokes that makes you laugh for a few secs and then feel like an idiot for laughing at it. [:P]

Originally posted by gazag
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately ?????????30 worth of damage.

Wow, thats intense. 30 pounds eh? Whats that, like 60 bucks?!

[jayman]

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! gazag you are my hero !!!!!!! that was funny, funny stuff.i get it..