The Guys' Rules

I got this from my brother in england.


The Guys' Rules???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)


We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note: these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

This is the reality Ladies!!!

Nice find

Lmao, wth is mauve amyway?

That?????????s the thing.

I don't know.

I agree with most but the not needing directions thing is just crazy. Columbus didn't end up where he thought he did anyway. If he had, it would have been a whole other group of people who's lives and land were violently stolem from them.

BTW, Mauve is a dull, dusty, pinkish purple.

I thought it was a kind of dull, pale blue?

and dude, awesome rules [:D]

horay, the truth can now be heard across the land. now you can probally guess why im still single[:D]

[hyyyper]

old one, true though

^^Apart from your looks gazag, thats probably why ;)

Who are you to determine the looks of another male member.
[R][R][R].
We all know your wife is called Dave..

Who would you be to determine who can determine the looks of another guy?

;)

I dont even have a wife. Fiance, but no wife.

Who are you to determine the determined if determination is 'my' query.
So how is dave?

Gotcha! I asked a question, so I never did determine anything.

You included rainbows - which was the answer to your own question.

Im still waiting for the answer to my question with an answer, not a question.

[jayman]

f*** the establishment and it's retarded gender roles... cliches like this are what cause friction...[blah][blah][blah]... many of these apply in more areas than just relationships.. my personal favorite is that you only get the choice between asking to get something done OR telling us how to do it..

Nah, not for me, the best is #1 [:D]

Nice find. I didn't even read them all and I was intrigued![:p]

Originally posted by Real

^^Apart from your looks gazag, thats probably why

[:(] thanks as if my self estime wasent already low enough, cheers man, helps me lots[:(]

im off to eat a tub of ice cream and some mars bars now[:(]

^I almost feel like going aww.. honestly.

Is Valentines Day as much of a Hallmark holiday over in Europe as it is here in America? The week or so leading up to it you can barely watch TV without seeing a teddy bear/flowers/heart shaped box of chocolates commercials.

Originally posted by Coaster individual

Is Valentines Day as much of a Hallmark holiday over in Europe as it is here in America? The week or so leading up to it you can barely watch TV without seeing a teddy bear/flowers/heart shaped box of chocolates commercials.

Ask yourself: "Does this really pertain to anything we are talking about?" [:p][:D]

wouldent know as real says im too ugly to be able to enjoy it

Wow you really are takin this harsh. Say your sorry, Real.[8)]

To be honest.
Real is just backstabbing because his Fiance is called Dave.

Wow! That avatar isn't an actual photo of you is it Gazag?

That makes sence... But still... If it were me, I would get more insulted from being made fun of for looks then haveing my girlfriend called Dave.