Stupid tourists.

I've received an e-mail the other day that came directly from one of the admins at a tourist site for South-Africa. The message includes the most idiotic questions I've ever seen with the replies they deserved. I've decided to post it here seeing that I'm the only South-African talking in the discussions.

I know we are 3rd world but really!

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Question: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
Answer: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometers, take lots of water...

Question: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
Answer: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Question: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey?????????s Bay? (UK)
Answer: What did your last slave die of?

Question: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
Answer: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Question: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
Answer: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Question: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
Answer: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Question: Can you send me the Vienna Boys????????? Choir schedule? (USA)
Answer: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Question: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
Answer: No, WE don't stink.

Question: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)
Answer: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Question: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
Answer: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Question: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
Answer: Only at Christmas.

Question: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
Answer: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Question: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
Answer: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Question: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. USA)
Answer: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Question: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
Answer: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Question: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
Answer: Yes, but you?????????ll have to learn it first...
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actually, to go north, you face south and turn 180 degrees [;)]

Turn 90deg then more directions includes turning another 90deg.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[LOL][LOL][LOL]

please dont tell me this is what you acctually recived.

my great uncle lives in southafrica and i want to go out to see him one day.
ill be asking these questions to him[lol]

ohh and ive got one more question does your country have alot of poor people?

lol i get it now. my bad.

Unfortunately due to the apartheid problem way back, there are a lot especially in Soweto etc????????? But when going to Cape Town, Johannes burg, Durban etc????????? you will find that it's not that different from any European country.

great answer to a stupid question

Ahahah, that's awesome. I know what that's like, here in Canada we get a lot of "should I bring my toboggan in August" and "is it true you live in igloos and ride polar bears to school?"

Originally posted by coasterguy77

[lol] Ahahah, that's awesome. I know what that's like, here in Canada we get a lot of "should I bring my toboggan in August" and "is it true you live in igloos and ride polar bears to school?"

I get asked similar questons because i used to live in alaska and when i told my friends the first questons i got were do you live in igloos and were there citys.

try living in maine and having half the country think you're part of canada. yes we have cities, yes we have running water, and no we do not all live out in the middle of the woods. "rolls eyes"

so the media especially TV lie to all of us every day then

hmm who'd of ever thought TV was somtimes lieing to us

That's so hillarious!

[jayman]

south africa is a 3rd world country? since when?

Since it became democratic or so they say.

[jayman]

that's insane.. who says that? ps.. my favorite was the french one.

That was a good laugh, Dirk.