the death of a beloved old friend

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, as his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Paracetamol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

He began to lose the will to live as churches became businesses; creationism vied for equal footing with proper science, alternative treatments became available on the NHS (while cancer drugs were banned) and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

The poor bloke took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

He finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Barely recovering from that he was bludgeoned to death by the news that the world's financial markets had been demonlished by irresponsible bankers who made a fortune doing so and who the governments bailed out by demanding money from those wise enough to have adopted sensible fiscal policies.

This grand old man was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by four stepbrothers; "I Know My Rights", "Someone Else's Problem", "I'm A Victim" and "Work? I'm better of on the Dole" and his stepsisters, "Gymslip Mother" and "I'll have a baby and they'll give me a house".

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not join the majority and do nothing.

I've always been under the impression that Mr. Common Sense was an imaginary construct devised by early man to explain random bits of sensibility the universe occasionally let slip.

He's largely been discredited in the modern world, a character now known not to have ever existed, like Socrates. But sometimes small children have Mr. Common Sense as an imaginary friend. Usually this gets beaten out of them early as they start going to school and learn about bureaucracy.

[Dirk_Ermen]

Am I glad that I still have Mr. Common Sense on my side. There happens too much in the world where you think of why would you do that. Like jumping over a 6-7ft fence with huge signs at a Rollercoaster and then get decapitated in attempt to get your lost object(s). So yeah...

[hyyyper]

^or taking rubik's cubes in rollercoasters, yes dirk, we all know you have common sense

Didn't he actually die when we all committed to become members here?

Kidding ....

[Dirk_Ermen]

Originally posted by hyyyper

^or taking rubik's cubes in rollercoasters, yes dirk, we all know you have common sense

I knew you were going to bring that up. But I have a good reason for that. My friend Mr Common Sense got lost in the park, apparently he went to the magic forrest and not the Troy area. We met up later in front of Troy when the rides with the cube were done

[Coasterkidmwm]

I never knew a "Common Sense".