"I would start off with Astronaut attack, poisonous sushi, barbed-wire chandlier, photo shop-
" wait, when you said photoshop, did you mean to use photoshop to create an incriminating photo?"
No, I meant we create a set of photo shops. One day she has to get pictures developed, she comes into the shop, we pop out, yell 'SUPRISE!!', and beat her to death with pool cues."
I like jcoasters' idea. But if all else fails, surely you live in a place where police exist? Why the hell haven't you called them yet?!
Well I didn't actually see her committing the act of stealing my tomatoes and breaking my garden hose, all I know is that I saw her touching our neighbor's AC unit lustfully and then leave, and when I went out the hose was broken and the tomatoes were gone... I am 90% sure that it was her, but I don't really have any evidence.
Fill the AC unit with gunpowder, nitrate, fertilizer and fireworks. When the lady tinkers with it throw a match in the vent and the AC unit will blow her up.
It's obvious she's got some kind of disability or disease. There is a chance the cops even know about her and that she's been called on before. Report her to the police. They will at least go knock on her door. I'd also talk to her family and let them know about her strange behavior.
If that doesn't do anything, set up a video recorder. Eventually you will get her on tape and you can press charges.
Who knows that she's doing to your houses. You need to take this seriously.