What I learned while watching two commercial-breaks-worth of Ohio political ads during "Jeopardy" tonight:
1. Ted Strickland lost 400,000 jobs for Ohio during his term as governor, and he's supporting a "job-killing" tax increase that will make business-owners want to leave Ohio. He's therefore against Ohio jobs, and can't be trusted.
2. His opponent John Kasich worked at Lehman Brothers, and encouraged Ohio to invest in the fledgling company, costing Ohio seniors millions while he got rich. He is therefore a "Wall Street guy," also against Ohio, and can't be trusted either.
3. Rep. Zack Space is guilty of lying in his campaign ad. Plus he is apparently Nanci Pelosi's right-hand man, bowing down to her liberal agenda, and helping to pass trillions of dollars in new spending that will cost Ohio 100,000 jobs. Space is against Ohio, and cannot be trusted.
4. His opponent Bob Gibbs, however, is a free trader who wants more free trade with China, and he wants to increase THEIR standard of living. He voted for NAFTA, and these trade deals cost Ohio 91,000 jobs. China even said "xie xie, Mr Gibbs." Therefore, Gibbs is against Ohio and cannot be trusted.
5. Mary Jo Kilroy is a liar. She claims to have voted against the bailout, but actually did vote for it. She is also planning to vote for a "job-killing" energy tax that could cost Ohio over 100,000 jobs. Therefore, Kilroy's liberal agenda is against Ohio, and she is a liar that cannot be trusted.
6. Her opponent Steve Stivers was a FORMER BANKING LOBBYIST, who voted against cracking down on predatory lenders and said that more oversight of mortgages was a bad idea. He is working for the banks, not us good hard-working Ohioans, and cannot be trusted.
RESULTS:
Every politician is against us hard-working Ohioans, and not a single one of them can be trusted.
CONCLUSION:
I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!