Need a second opinion (maybe a third)

[Metazoanhaddock]

soo, i need some insight and would like the opinion of other members:

18 year old dating a 15 year old girl, she turns 16 in august, he turns 19 in september...thoughts?

What state is this occurring in?

[Metazoanhaddock]

california

[gouldy]

My brother is 18 and was dating a 15 year old girl until she turned 16 a few weeks ago. This being England, she is now of legal consent age, but he has still had some comments, not least of all from my mom.

When I was 17, there was a 14 year old girl who I got very close to, but I didn't do anything about it for fear of other people's ideas. I have since regretted that at times, because I really did fall for that girl and it's not like I could help how old she was.

You have to remember that the only reason any of this seems bad to anyone is because of social pressures. The legal age of consent in the US ranges from 16 to 18 (I believe?), so for an 18 year old to date a 15 year old seems morally reprehensible to most people. On the other hand, the legal consent age in Spain is 13 and an 18 year old dating a 15 year old would be the envy of his friends. There is nothing actually wrong with dating a girl of that age, apart from other people preconceived notions. However, depending on the consent age in California, your 'friend' would be a felon in the eyes of a law if it was that he did anything...

[Metazoanhaddock]

well, she approached this 'friend' of mine and asked him out...

and i believe in california law, as long as the two are within two years of each other, it's not considered statutory rape if they did anything. the only reason i bring this up is not because of social pressures, but because the age gap is what it is. i understand gouldy's point about other countries, and completely agree with it...

Danny, your "friend" should take into consideration the fact that "he" is going to college soon, and "he" should not be tethered to someone younger than "him" in a long-distance relationship.

Metazoan, yes, in California, a 2 year difference is not considered "statutory rape" unless the parents or girl press charges. A 3 year gap, I'm not too sure. You may be able to find out online what the California law is. Other than that, I don't believe it to be an issue. All depends on her parents, whether he could be prosecuted or not.

[Metazoanhaddock]

Gerry, ujellybro?

Far from it. I just have friends who did the same thing your "friend" did. It doesn't work out ever. Just warning your "friend" about it.

Honestly, I don't see much of a problem with it. I mean, tell your "friend" not to do anything with this girl just on the off chance that ramifications occur, but I don't think that just dating a younger girl is a problem. The only thing I could potentially foresee being an issue is when your "friend" goes off to college, and the girl is still in HS, and only a junior(?) at that. That's two years that "he" will be in college when "his" girl isn't. That'll get weird. And then if they are still together when they're both in college, "he" will be dating freshman, but as a junior. That might be weird, too.

[Metazoanhaddock]

@ boneplaya: well, that really depends on whether my "friend" goes to a local school or not...

@Onjin: my "friend" is on pretty good terms with the girl's parents, and wouldn't do anything the girl wouldn't want him to do.

@Gerry: you never know, just because it didn't work out for your friends doesn't mean it wouldn't work out for mine, i know couples from my school where it worked out fine...

[TheArchitect]

^exactly, i say go for it bro. Life is short man, and i know people who are 40 and married to a 30 year old, is that wrong? because to me some one going out with another 3 years younger isnt bad at all. Go for it and enjoy life, and like you say just because it didnt work for some people doesnt mean it wont for you.

[gouldy]

Originally posted by TheArchitect

^exactly, i say go for it bro. Life is short man, and i know people who are 40 and married to a 30 year old, is that wrong? because to me some one going out with another 3 years younger isnt bad at all. Go for it and enjoy life, and like you say just because it didnt work for some people doesnt mean it wont for you.

don't you mean, his 'friend'?


I wish more people thought like the people on this site seem to. I distinctly remember feeling very bad about my feelings for a 14 year old girl when I was 17 and could have used some support. At the time, I only told one person that I had feelings for this girl, hoping for some advice about it... but when I told my older female friend, she freaked out, said I was sick, blocked me on msn and didn't speak to me for a week . That was the last straw that made me decide I was a bad person and that I should just forget about the whole thing. As I've grown up, though, I've realised how little other people's opinions should have mattered to me.

And now, I have absolutely no problems openly admitting that I am an ephebophile, especially since research has shown that it's completely natural and is actually considered 'the norm' in males. It's not something I can help, I am just simply most physically attracted to girls between the ages of 15 and 19, as most men are, even if not consciously accepting it. People can think what they want of that, that's just the way it is

Anyway... to come back onto topic, heh, Metazoanhaddock; your 'friend' should do whatever would make them most happy. You're not alive on this earth for very long, and you're 18 for only a small percentage of that life, so enjoy it while you can.

[Coasterkidmwm]

Originally posted by Metazoanhaddock

soo, i need some insight and would like the opinion of other members:

18 year old dating a 15 year old girl, she turns 16 in august, he turns 19 in september...thoughts?

You should be able to buy an older one with your parent's money

[jayman]

15? why would someone want to date a 15-16 year old?

[Coasterkidmwm]

They're dumb, annoying, and have no tits. Enjoy being forced to watch Twilight and having to listen to Gomez and Bieber duo thing lol

[jayman]

maybe you can take her to chuck-e-cheese for her birthday

Originally posted by Coasterkidmwm
and have no tits.

Are you sure?

[Coasterkidmwm]

Quicker to appear, quicker to sag later.

Protip: 3/4 of everyone you know will get fat and preggers in 5 years time. Plan ahead.

[Metazoanhaddock]

Originally posted by Coasterkidmwm

They're dumb, annoying, and have no tits. Enjoy being forced to watch Twilight and having to listen to Gomez and Bieber duo thing lol

hah! good one

as if i'd go for some preppy bitch.....

Don't do it. Long distance is going to suck.

[Coasterkidmwm]

His money will probably keep her interested and Meta seems like the cheating type that'll get it out of his system while away so it should be fine in the long run.

[Metazoanhaddock]

i'm really not the cheating type...

There is no issue I see with the age difference. Just because it is considered socially uncommon does not mean it is inherently wrong. The bigger issue in my mind is if "you" are going away to college soon. Its not the long distance thats bad (I was in a long distance for 2 years and now I am on the 5th year). The issue is being back during the initial excitement and socializing of college. I remember many kids who showed up with girlfriends back at home, and they kind of kept to themselves a little more and didnt quite get the rapid personal growth that everyone else did. And to be honest, I dont think any of them lasted very long with their girlfriends due to jealousy and misunderstandings.

Good luck!

[Coasterkidmwm]

Originally posted by Metazoanhaddock

i'm really not the cheating type...

You were hired as a professional snitch on this site that nobody takes seriously. It doesn't really show much character so I don't see why that wouldn't spill over into other aspects of your life. In the beginning of this thread you didn't even have the balls to say it was you. You'll do a ton of stuff and then say you were forced after narking on everyone. It won't last while you're away.