Europa Park, August 6-7
I've noticed a curious behavior that locals often exhibit during my travels in America (and now the world) to ride roller coasters. Wherever you go, the people there think you are absolutely, clinically insane for leaving wherever you???re from to visit the parks and ride the coasters where they live. ???poop, you came from California just to ride Phantom???s Revenge? But why? It???s only Kennywood?????? I work in a large resort hotel where I assisted a Dutch family vacationing in California about a week before the Coaster Crazy Europe trip. They thought it was not just bizarre, but downright comical that I would do something as trivial as visit Efteling (I went on my own after the tour ended) during my first ever trip to the Netherlands. No matter that they were happily forking over $500 for one day at Disneyland on their vacation, the idea that an American would bother with Efteling was just too weird for them to comprehend. Imagine the look on their faces when I told them that I was not just visiting Efteling, but Toverland! The opposite behavior can best be observed at Six Flags Magic Mountain. ???Why would you ever leave??? We have THE BEST coasters in the world here! Don???t you know about the X2 and the Full Throttle??????
The first stop on the trip was a place that has lately assumed the mantle as the near-consensus best park in the world: Europa Park. After spending two full days there, I can look at Europa from two conflicting, yet entirely valid perspectives. (1) For a park of this stature, it doesn???t have a single top 20 caliber coaster and all but one of its dark rides are Disney knockoffs that range in quality from poor to ???almost as good,??? or (2) What an amazing place! Atmosphere, service and operations are industry-leading and even after two days I still couldn???t do everything!
Fortunately, the latter perspective is the ones that sticks two weeks after visiting. While it???s true that Europa could use one truly elite coaster (their three best, Blue Fire, Wodan, and Silver Star, are in my estimation only the sixth, seventh, and eighth best coasters in Germany after Expedition GeForce, Taron, Black Mamba, Karnan, and Karacho), the overall package the place brings is still unmatched by any other out of the now 60 parks I???ve visited. The blend of theming, quantity and variety of attractions, good if not great coasters, excellent resort hotels, ride throughput, and friendly, efficient service is tops in the industry. I can clearly see why people like to spend three or more days here. The level of emotional investment and care the Mack family puts into the place shows everywhere you look. This is clearly a business that asks questions beyond what will yield the greatest short term return on investment.
For the first three nights of the trip, I stayed at Hotel El Andaluz, one of Europa Park???s five onsite resort hotels (six if you count the campground). I highly recommend it if you don???t mind paying a little extra over staying in Rust or Ettenheim. The resorts are first rate and have plenty of restaurants, bars, and the two biggest ones have beautiful grounds to explore. Early entry into the park is accessed through a second gate in the Spain pavilion. From there it???s a quick walk to Blue Fire where you should have no problem getting at least three rides in before the main rope drop happens up front.
Something that irritates me about the theme park experience that manifested again at Europa Park is the difficulty of finding suitable merchandise, specifically t-shirts. For those who don???t know, official theme park clothing comes in only two sizes: XXL and S. I had always assumed this was a uniquely American phenomenon, but Germany proved me very, very wrong. Want something in between? You have a slight possibility of finding an XL towards the back of the rack. What???s more, about 98.75% of theme park shirts have these obnoxious, garish, flashy ???designs??? that cover the entire front and/or back of the shirt from top to bottom. There???s nothing technically wrong with it if you like that kind of thing, but I just want a coaster shirt I can wear out in public without looking like I just came back from Comic Con. Planning on buying a well-fitted M or L shirt with a simple, tasteful park logo across the chest? Well think again, sunshine! Europa would rather sell you an amateurish Silver Star tee that mines a more prominent company???s intellectual property.
Reviews:
Blue Fire Megacoaster POWERED BY GAZPROM ??? The best ride in the park is honestly a little too tame for me, as good as it is, and it all starts with the launch. LSMs will never match the raw ferocity of a hydraulic or pneumatic launch system, but Mack engineered theirs to be especially mild, though you may think it???s extreme if you???ve never ridden a launched coaster before or you are Don Lemon. It???s just not sudden enough to lift your stomach the way Xcelerator???s or even Maverick???s does. Same for the elevated turnaround that follows. I???m not sure exactly what Mack was going for with that element. Fortunately everything that follows is pretty good. The loop is fun and the snappy right turn and climb into the MCBR offers some nice forces as do the drop that comes after and the twisted horseshoe roll that???s supplemented by some nicely integrated rockwork. The twisting camelback that threads the loop has decent airtime and the heartline roll finale is probably the best inversion on the ride. Blue Fire was also my 300th coaster. 8/10.
A Blue Fire footnote: I cracked my left had pretty hard on the mouth of the first tunnel exiting the elevated turnaround. It scared me at first because I thought I had broken my fingers and they were bleeding a good amount. Several of us had been smacking leaves from the nearby tree on previous rides and this time I stretched too far. This is entirely my own fault of course, but it highlighted how clearance envelopes in Europe seem a little tighter than in America. I saw numerous flat rides and coasters come closer to hitting supports/trees/whole buildings than I ever have in the US. And there???s nothing wrong with that. It just requires additional personal responsibility, which I don???t think is a bad thing at all.
Wodan ??? The tallest, largest GCI outside of China mostly delivers even if it???s not quite one of the firm???s crowning achievements. The Rye Aeroplane-style first drop is certainly the best GCI has done. Great airtime delivered from a greater height than similar drops on Apocalypse and Kentucky Rumbler. But after that I felt it was a little light on airtime and the snappy directional changes its contemporaries are known for. The layout has a very interesting sprawl to it and interacts well with the neighboring Blue Fire and Atlantica. Scenery and the sheer scope of the ground this coaster covers is where Wodan excels. It???s a very good wooden coaster, if maybe not one of the best examples of its type, and you???ll have to wait until later in this report to see what I think the best wooden coaster on the trip was. The answer might surprise you. 8/10.
Silver Star ??? This ride was the surprise of the trip. Prior to this one, I had been on six B&M hypers that I group into three tiers. At the top are Goliath @ Six Flags Over Georgia and Nitro. Those two offer above average airtime, good helixes, and layouts that finish as strong as they start. The middle tier is represented by Mako, Diamondback, and Apollo???s Chariot. Those three come close, but are compromised by too much trim braking and/or a weak finish (looking at you, Mako). Then at the damp, dirty, bottom of the barrel is Carowinds??? Intimidator which felt so slow and has so much braking they might as well rename it Steel Force-Mamba-SFMM Goliath. From everything I had heard about Silver Star over the years, I was reasonably confident it would be Europe???s Intimidator. But it wasn???t! Airtime wasn???t great to start, but by the time you exit the MCBR, the air is bordering on ejector territory. Maybe the park has eased up on the trims since the coaster opened, I don???t know, but I really liked what I saw. The Mercedes Benz racing theme is novel and well-executed, and the GP who flock to it still treat the thing as the park???s marquee coaster. I now rank it as my third favorite B&M hyper. 8/10.
Euro Mir ??? After two days of riding, I very nearly wanted to call it the third best coaster in the park. I was lukewarm on it after my first ride where I sat in the middle of the train, but it won me over after several rear-facing back seat rides. That back car really helps to feel the strong positive g???s it pulls diving around the glass towers once the controlled spinning portion of the ride ends. After so many years this coaster is still entirely unique in the industry and a true classic the park can be proud of. It???s a total package from the anticipation-building, techno music-pumping, carousel lifthill in the dark to the spectacular views it offers from the top, to the swooping dives and ground hugging curves in the second half. May it live long and never change. 7/10.
Arthur ??? Some don???t, but I???m going to consider this Mack powered-suspended as a credit-worthy coaster even though it can also be considered an elaborate dark ride. The queue line oddly tries its hardest to familiarize you with the principle cast of characters from the Arthur films even though they play no apparent role in the ride itself. That aside, it???s an immersive, quality family coaster that satisfies the modern dark ride niche in Europa???s portfolio. The exterior portion that flies over the river and through the trees is even a bit thrilling. I hope Universal or someone else finds an application for this model soon. 7/10.
Eurosat ??? I???m so glad I got to ride this longtime park staple before they rebuild it. Hopefully it gets the same treatment as Disneyland???s Space Mountain and they retain the layout with a smoother track. It???s a good layout that doesn???t need to change. It???s also the ideal coaster for VR, so hopefully Mack???s plan to build two loading stations, one with VR, one without, pays off with the same kind of throughput it has now. As it runs today, Eurosat feels a little dated and not in a purely nostalgic way (though I suppose trying to gauge the nostalgia of anything you just experienced for the first time as an adult is kind of futile). The trains don???t track all that well and it could really benefit from a few modern lighting effects inside. 6/10.
Poseidon ??? I think the book is pretty much out on Poseidon. The station and splashdown pool look great and it???s a nice, long water coaster that gets you just wet enough without soaking you, but the coaster portion tracks a little rough for some and the theming doesn???t carry over to the whole layout. I liked it, but don???t think it???s worth the 60-90 minute waits it had all day on an astonishingly busy Monday. 6/10
Atlantica ??? I didn???t expect to like this one as much as I did as it looked like too much of a one trick pony for me. I tend to prefer water rides with more to them like Poseidon. However, Atlantica is a ride truly made by its setting. The Portugal section might be Europa Park???s most beautiful with the brilliant, blue-green splash pool stretching seemingly forever along with Wodan hustling by and the steady flow of monorail trains overhead. Like other coasters here, Atlantica offers some amazing views and the drop fortunately doesn???t drench you. But that last point hardly matters because the f*cking water bombs before the station certainly do. 6/10.
Alpenexpress Enzian ??? This was my first powered coaster and I really enjoyed it. It???s easy to look at it and dismiss it as not thrilling because that???s entirely correct and exactly what it is. But continuing a recurring theme here, Europa packages it in such a way that it ends up being more than the sum of its parts. Alpenexpress is a powered scenic railway that zips through trees and a neat, little diamond mine it shares with the log flume that???s honestly more impressive than Disney???s Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. Better than the majority of gravity driven family coasters I???ve done, and no, I didn???t waste my time with VR. 5/10 (hardly a bad score on the family ride scale).
Matterhorn Blitz ??? One of the best wild mice I???ve ridden. Nice theming/scenery and the trims don???t cripple it like they tend to do on plenty of others. The attention to detail Europa pays to the presentation of small coasters like this makes them feel like greater experiences than they would otherwise be. A wild mouse is usually a throwaway attraction for me at most parks, but here it feels like a worthy member of the park???s collection. 5/10 (probably the only mouse I give better than a 4 to aside from the truly insane Rat??n Loco at La Feria Chapultepec in Mexico City).
Schweizer Bobbahn ??? Well, it was my favorite bobsled almost by default for several days at least! Like most of its type, this one is too short and doesn???t do enough to maximize the potential of the bobsled concept, but like Matterhorn Blitz, it???s well taken care of and feels natural and integral to the park. Unlike all of the bobsleds in the US, I would not skip it on a return visit. 5/10.
Pegasus ??? A relatively impressive family coaster. I wish more US parks would buy these Mack Youngstars instead of resorting to Vekoma Rollerskaters every single time. They???re just big enough to feel worthwhile for more than the credit alone. 4/10.
Other rides I liked: Voletarium (better than New Soarin???, worse than Old Soarin???), Tiroler Log Flume, Columbus Dinghy, Volo DaVinci, Glacier Flight, Euro Tower, EP Express
Rides I did not like: Ghost Castle, Universe of Energy, Pirates in Batavia, Cassandra???s Curse
Things I cared about but missed: Fjord Rafting, Food Loop, the small monorail
What does the park need? A themed drop tower. If Europa has one more Disney knockoff left in them, I???d love to see what they could do with Tower of Terror as a reference point.