Best Jokes!

Okay peeps, i havent heard any decent jokes in a while now, so i was wondering if anybody had some funny ones. If you do post them here!!! [:D]
I only have a couple but they arent that funny and you've probably heard them all already oh well!

Q: Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Computer???
A: Computers dont laugh at 3 1/2 inch floppys!!!! (sorry to anyone who may take offence to that for example blonde people, and sorry if it is inapropriate!!!![lol][lol])

Theres and English man an Irish man and a Scots man sat on top of some scaffolding eating lunch. The English man opens his lunch box and says, "right well if my wife makes me another ham sandwich tommorrow im going to jump off this scaffolding!!!!!". The Irish man then opens his lunch and says, "yeah, if my wife makes me another chicken sandwich tommorrow im going to jump off this scaffolding too!!!!!". Then the scots man opens his lunch box and finds a tuna sandwich and says, "if my wife makes me another tuna sandwich tommorrow im going to jump off this scaffolding aswell!!!!!".
THE NEXT DAY:
The English man opens his lunch box and finds a ham sandwich in there so he jumps off the scaffolding and dies.
The Irish man then opens his lunch box and finds a chicken sandwich so he follows theEnglishman and jumps off the scaffolding and also dies.
The scots man then opens his lunch box and finds a tuna sandwich inside so he also jumps off the Scaffolding and dies.

ONE WEEK LATER AT THE FUNERAL
The three mens wives are stood around talking. The English mans wife then says, "If only i hadnt made him a ham sandwich, he would still be alive", and she bursts out crying. The Irish mans wife then says, "If only i hadnt made him a chicken sandwich, he would still be alive", and she bursts out to crying. The Scotsmans wife then says "Well i couldnt have done anything, my husband makes his own lunch!!!!" [lol][lol][lol]

Oh, im really not funny. Thats why i need you lot to post some new jokes!!!!! [:D]

Oh wait, ive still got one crap joke.

There are 40 blondes and one brunnette dangling on a wire over a canyon. The wire will snap if one person does not let go of the wire. The brunnette then says "well im the only brunnette here, so i should let go!!" So then the brunnette lets go of the wire and falls to her death, so all the blondes are safe. So how do all the blondes manage to die??????????????????????????? Yes, they started to clap when the brunnette let go!!!! [:D]


Ive just noticed, most of my jokes involve peole dieing!

[gouldy]

I believe that it is the irishmans wife who says "He makes his own lunch" continuing the myth that all Irish people are stupid ... wierd, a lot of Americans are decended from Irish people ...

Sorry, I only know long winded jokes that take agaes to write out and I'm more of a person who can quickly think of a funny reply to something that someone says ... not really a jokes person.

Actually, I have got one:

Some men like looking at women's arses. Some men like looking at women's tits. Me, I like looking at the tops of their heads.

Think about it bit of a dirty joke that

no me neither as there the only ones i have and there crap. And i also always tell them worng or summat!!!

I also was gonna upload a new avatar with a picture of the girl from the excorcist and then have my title as "look its miss france!" But i didnt wnat to offend anyone! So now ive got a really bad one but never mind!

[gouldy]

HAHAHA, no no, I think thats a good idea, cus after all, who actually cares if you offend the frogs anyway?? I mean, jeez, they're only French people, its not like they have feelings or anything aaaaaaaahaha j/k

[Dirk_Ermen]

i'm bad at telling jokes but i remember the one of the lunch boxes...

lol!!! Now that is pretty funny.

[Dirk_Ermen]

here are some funny images:

Could be a nice april fool...
http://members.home.nl/ermen.dirk/april_fool.jpg

The remote to control your girlfriend:
http://members.home.nl/ermen.dirk/girlfriendremote.jpg

The mac for women:
http://members.home.nl/ermen.dirk/imacforwomen.jpg

The newest keyboard from Microsoft:
http://members.home.nl/ermen.dirk/keybord.jpg

New key on the keyboard:
http://members.home.nl/ermen.dirk/new_key.jpg

Swimming sign:
http://members.home.nl/ermen.dirk/no_swimming.jpg

IF you have a problem, The way to slove:
http://members.home.nl/ermen.dirk/problem.gif

Well done Dirk, then first 3 were the funniest, and the last one was pretty good. lol. I might have to just save them on my comp. lol

[gouldy]

LMAO! That no swimming sign is well funny!

In English: 'No swimming'
In some other lanuage: 'No swimming'
In German: 'Welcome, the water is great!'

and theres a shark in the background hahaha, evil [:D]