A wishful speech ...

A bit long, but worth the read if you are tired of America supporting the "world". With that said, wouldn't it be great to turn on the TV and hear any US President, Democrat, or Republican give the following speech?

------------

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations: Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not badmouthing us for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put ?????????em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

I would hate it if America pulled out of Iraq. People need to stop complaining and support their leader, regardless if they think its wrong. Bush is in the White house for a reason, to protect and run America. by going into Iraq, we took out a big threat to American citizens. heck, if people figured out what the CIA was doing, then they'ed be pissed. they take out tons of terrorists without us knowing. even though we put a lot of money into Iraq, the economy is better than ever. it was actually Clinton that damaged it. i do like the idea of drilling for oil in alaska. Alaska is about 1/3 of the size of the in land 48 states of America. we want to drill in an area the size of connecticut but the enviromentelests say we cant.

wtf, bush has been an ass about this entire thing, we came to purge terrorists out of AFGANASTAN and somehow, wrong intellegance lead us to IRAQ...

Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not badmouthing us for a change.

uhh I live in the US and I badmouth our government. They have every right in the world to mock us, this is one f'd up country. that's just my opinion though and canada/australia is in my near future LOL

Monty, just remember that you're fortunate to live in a country where you have the right to badmouth the government whenever you feel like it. You have a right to your opinion, but if you feel like moving still you should probably pick Australia because the climate is much warmer. And it's spelled "Afghanistan," just fyi.

Back on topic:
An interesting speech, but a bit unrealistic in its dealings with other countries. Not only that, but the timetable for the exit plan of Iraq seems too quick. I prefer this plan instead: [url=http://www.lp.org/exitplan.pdf]. The most unfortunate thing is that no politician would ever have the guts to give that kind of a speech, Democrat or Republican (what's the difference anyways?). However, if it were to happen, I would support such an aggressive move to restore nationalist pride in the US. Interesting...

It was just a little political satire ... let's try to keep that in focus, eh?

nice find tcon. very nice. but your goal of focusing will not happen. once anything said like:
BUCK
FUSH

gets this site, and every other site in the US in an upstorm.

it cant be stopped once it starts.

Hello hehe, guess whos got a few words. Thats right TC, its your favourite arguing buddy, good ol' Carlosio.

Actually, it's a hilarious speech, even if it is all half and half. Gotta love satire though. I also love the redicule of the French, i'll never get enough of that, smelly gits.

I don't know how much of that you find funny and agree with, but there are actually some good, if extreme, ideas. It's also wonderfully American in its self-indulgence.

Well, i went easy, gimme your best shot.

sorry in advence but

its mostly the american idealists who make poverty a reality by bullying third world countrys and payng a pittence for there resorses, mabey you lot over there should not eat so much and then we can abolish world hunger, use smaller engines in cars and trucks ( example Normal american engine- 8.2 litre engine 120bhp- british made engine- 2.4 litre 260bhp). so dont be so proud of america cuz all that you said in that speech is a load of BULL

sorry again if i have afednded anyone

America needs to pull out of foreign affairs, let them be as they want to live, and solve problems within our own country. G. Washington stayed out of foriegn affairs as much as he could, he minded our own country, and his presidency was a success allowing america to grow. It's like when you're sibling invades on you, it's annoying. Sorry if I knock down anyone's spirits here, but our government is WAY to full of themselves. They think that they're going to be god and change the world without changing ourselves, and that's what's going to start more problems :/

[Oscar]

it was actually Clinton that damaged it

yeah, right, perhaps you forget the record economic growth with him.

clinton was a good president, but a disgusting person. sometimes people look at the disgusting person and let it overrule what he acheived in office [xx(]

Yeah, i like America more after London was bombed, but i'd rather not read posts about patriotism, that BS just gets on my nerves.

<-- Grabs popcorn and thinks to himself ... hrmmmm, I should do this more often.

[Oscar]

If you read my full opinion, which I wont post, you'd prolly be ready to nuke me

lmoa. this whole george bush is a retard debate is silly.

why are people arguing over facts? if it is ture, its true. no need to argue about it.

[Oscar]

also it's funny to see all the comedians do jokes on his stupidity, I never saw any of them doing stupidity jokes about Clinton, only pimpin jokes which is [pshades]

Cus clinton wasnt stupid. lol. Dubya is....

Easy, GW isn't stupid, he's just the most dopey MoFo on the face of the earth. I lead you to the fantastic quote of his "The illiteracy level of our children are appaling" <-- thats classic.

While incredibly dopey, the statement is not stupid, nor is it irrelevant. I don't agree with a lot of Bush's thoughts and morals, but i will not judge him until i've tried to be the head of america, or even england. I think you should grant him the same courtesy

But that's no fun! Trying to prove that Bush is an idiot has kind of become a hobby for me...

LOL the best part of politics is making fun of people :p. besides, GW has been the easiest to pick on for a while lol

Anyone got some dental floss? I have a kernel in my teeth ...

The real lunacy in politics is why anyone would ever be stupid enough to run for office? The crap they dig up on people can make a nun look like a 5 cent whore. I would never want myself or my family to have to go through that level of scrutiny. Clinton was certainly a better speaker than Bush (for that matter my 3 year old son is also probably more articulate that GB), but at least Bush stands by his beliefs and has some sense of integrety. I used to be a hardcore Democrat (I grew up in Mass., go figure), but as of late I am a true independant. It's sad how many people vote straight party as there are good and bad politicians on both sides. Regardless, it seems like no matter who you put in office, they usually come out dirty in the end.

pdonahue

(I can't pass up an opportunity for a good old diatribe, thanks Tconwell)

p.s. I think Tconwell's origonal post is a pretty good idea. Why spend money helping people who hate us while we have a lot of our own problems to deal with. Isolationism, while impossible in today's global village, still has some very appealing qualities. We also should all remember that is was the French, German and Russian governments that turned their back on America, not necessarily the citizens. All it will take is an attack on their own soil to remind people that terrism exists only to kill, not to negotiate.

[Brtnboarder495]

I agree with most of the material here, EXCEPT for "It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America". I play soccer and who cares if it was "derived" from Europe. Just like rivaling countries use similar items and techniques, rivaling companies use similar technology. Otherwise I agree.

EDIT: Also we could of not gone to war and tightened our borders as a better alternative. And you know the only or primary reason we are in the middle east is for oil. As sad as it sounds, I almost HOPE France gets bombed, maybe then they will realize the status of the situation at hand. They seem to have a self-centered attitude, only if THEY are attacked will they take action. If the England or Spain bombings occured before 9/11, you KNOW the US would be over there doing exactly what they are doing now.

[coolbeans326]

Meh, politics are dumb, and I don't really care, why? Because nothing that I care about would get done anyways.
I think Clinton was a good president, so what if he got head from whats her face, why should we care is that any of our buisness? That's between him, his wife, whats her face, and God (if he believes in Him) and we should not judge a man by what he does in bed, but by what he does to others! So, I could care less if he did that, don't bring that up, its irrelevent to what he did in his term as the President.
George on the other hand, maybe unfit for office, but so was kerry. After all Kerry has a lot of simularities to Jimmy Carter, from which who I've heard nothing but bad from. So that leads me to believe that Kerry might have been as bad as JC.
But I do wonder this, what would life been like had Gore been elected for president. Dun dun dunnnnnn.