Alright, through out my life, I have been going through a lot of hard times, until about 6 months ago, heres kind of a summary. I have a difficult time concentrating because I am constantly haunted by the hard times that I used to experience. I made a kind of Rap sort of song, to help me focus and calm down when ever I find myself getting mad or losing focus in school. My physcholigy teacher/ spanish teacher was reading these two raps one day, and me being my genius self left it out for eyes ready to see, as I come back he looks at me and takes me outside, and he said that its hard enough growing up as it is, and what I have been through had made it 10 times harder. He said I am carrying a lot of rocks in my bag, that is so heavy to impossible to slowly start emptying on my own; he suggested to find a group of people that I trust and tell them my story, so I could find other opinions on how to deal with it, because I have been struggling to deal with this for about 2-3 years now. So please dont be too judgemental, and I know I probably shouldnt have posted this if I didnt want straight opinions...thank you for reading, and there is explict content
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Surviving
Getting made fun, always getting beat on, time has passed not know what I did wrong; rapping this song; that's how its done, cause it came to me just minding my own business, not wanting to start poop, learned how to do it; finally came to my senses, started starting poop love everything up in my pathway; waiting for the day where it finally ended, stabbed a bitch, heads to bent to be mended; lyrical genius, so ingenuous, not knowing the consequences of my actions; worlds of hate, prosperity, not gunna be; surviving the pain and torture of everyday life, love everything up in sight, knowing everything is not going to be alright
Too many times where I wanted to die, lied to my peers not knowing whats right; the only reason im still alive was my self dependency to surviving, don't need a reason; played the game, WON! love all you bitches, my dues are done, moving on; knowing how the games played, living in regret everyday; stabbings, murders, seen all that poop, another reason im still surviving is refusing to be some ones bitch; finally said love this; breaking down, crying myself to sleep, too nervous to eat, not hoping that was my last meal learning how to deal, was the hardest, not wanting to mess with the gangs that were after me; kept on praying, not working, it was my faith that kept on strugglin; got out of it as soon as I could, should?????????ve, always knew of, the worlds in its real colors; dealt with it too many times, it was all I knew of; never concentrating, always remembering the pain; the blood; the people, memories swept through, like a love bullet, so fast, my life almost ended, in a split second, didn't even start poop; the world?????????s love up, messed up, just learn not to give a love, about anybody, just survive, and neva die.
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More to expect
To mad, uncontrollable, unstoppable, to love up to control; my actions, no satisfaction; not reacting to what?????????s really going on; trying to get a reality check, not working, full of pain my hearts burning; dug a hole, its way to deep, trying to seep all the emotions and pain, losing the game; its falling apart quick, people don't know when to quit; too tough, im strugglin, fighting so much, its all I was shown, grown to know, the real world, so fast, too fast enough; been through my poop, became tough; guilty of sinning, kept on wishing, wanting it to stop, tough poop, not fast enough; time has passed; not concentrating, too busy not relating, waiting for the day, not coming, still trying to comprehend what happened; pain, agony, another test, just hope for the best, and learn from it cause?????????love the world B.R.C! love the world open up and see! love the world don't test me! Test me see what happens, you?????????ll keep running, ill keep coming; ill love your poop up, wait and see, don't believe me, then test me; I used to run, used to hide, too close, need to survive; put up a fight; getting hard to get a beat down, not turning around, never looking back, looking at the facts, getting a reality check; I may look like a little white bitch, love all you pricks, I can take your poop; looking for a reason to die, im here today, everything?????????s alright; wanted to die, not gunna lie, love your poop up, don't give a love; your threats didn't intimidate me, let me show you my philosophy on life, fight and stop being such a bitch, ass pussy alright? Like I said, you?????????re a bitch, I couldn't give a poop, because there's more to expect that's my philosophy, but you had to wait and see what would happen cause you kept running; I kept coming, told you bitch, wait and see, you didn't want to test me.
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Thank you for reading, and comments are more than welcome