The Joke Game!

First of all i post a joke then the next poster has to rate it and so on and so forth,

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a
bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION
ALL" and farts loudly.

The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at
the drunk and says" Excuse me, you just farted before my
wife."

The drunks replies," I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn

mediocre and predictable.

what's brown and sits on a wall?



humpty's dump!

Disturbing...

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said. But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place - the grass is almost a foot high!"

Just some giggles ....

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Safest Way to Drive


Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American driving
habits, offers the following advice:

The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directly
proportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one's
exposure.

One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirds
are caused by non-drunk drivers.

Therefore, the safest way to drive is drunk and VERY fast.

haha, that was good 7/10

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.

Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."

Pretty good, 8/10. Here's mine, sorry if anyone is offended, but remember it is just a joke.

An Asian man lands in the USA and walks to the exchange booth to trade in his Yen for dollars. He receives 200 dollars from the tender. After his trip, he returns to the same exchange booth and asks for 200 dollars in Yen, but is surprised to see that he gets fewer Yen than he had at the beginning of his vacation. Growing impatient, he asks the tender why he received fewer yen. The tender replies, "Fluctuations." To this, the man angrily responds, "Fluck You Too!" and walks away in a fury of rage.

6/10, Thats was ok but not great.

Her father was very angry when he heard that his twenty year
old daughter had hitch hiked all alone, all the way from San
Francisco to Washington.

"For gods sake!" he screamed, "Someone could have attacked you
and raped you!"

"I wasn't ever in no danger at all", she said, trying to calm him
down. "As soon as someone gave me a ride, I said I was going to
Washington, because thats where they have the best treatment for
sexually transmitted diseases."

[coolbeans326]

^ lol 7/10
MJ joke! Ha ha, to lazy to type out a long one
Why did Micheal Jackson get kicked out of the Pepsi Factory?
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He was caught sucking on a squirt!

8.5/10

sorry if anyone dosn't like this, but i think its funny.


A guy is hiking up a mountain when he sees a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying. "Hey," he says, "if you're going to jump, how about giving me a blow job before you do it?" "My life's been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well." After the girl's done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great! Why are you so depressed, anyway?" The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."

[Dirk_Ermen]

8/10 good one.

Why does a blonde girl have all correctiontape on her screen?
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She made a typingmistake and tried to correct it...

(not one of the funniest but it's the first i thought about[:D])

Sorry, but lame....

...So there are two men in Wal-Mart with shopping carts that bump into each other.

The First Man says, "Excuse me, I'm really sorry about that"

And the Second Man says, "That's ok, I'm just looking for my wife"

First Man: "Oh really, I'm looking for mine, too"

Second Man: "Well, what does she look like?"

First Man: "Weeell, she's got long legs, beautiful flowing hair, nice firm breasts, and a great butt. What about your wife?"

Second Man: "Meh, let's just look for yours"


...sounded better when I heard it the first time...

8.5 out of 10

How do you drive a blonde bugnuts?

Take her to a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner

Oh, no offense, but that was weak...

0/10.

If your name was homework, id be doing you on my desk right now.